Emotional Moments

Day 2 of walking: Villar de Mazarife to San Justo de la Vega, 27.6 km

Rand and I officially began our walk yesterday at the exact spot where we said goodbye last April. Leon is a huge city, but we recognized the place immediately. It has surprised me how my body and mind and spirit have tuned in to these locations, memories, and emotions.

We paused to take pictures. Say how grateful we were to be walking forward together. And began our walk, hand in hand.

Today came another emotional place for us. We walked the stretch of road where I felt intense pain in my foot. Likely the place where tendonitis turned into a broken foot.

I walked alone for a few paces, surprised at how emotional I felt. A year ago I had no idea that it would take me another month to walk these last 285 kilometers, which most people do in 12 days. I had no idea how hard it would be, physically, emotionally, or spiritually.

As I feel my feet getting tired and sore during these first 50 kilometers, I have had to remind myself that this is normal. This isn't a break waiting to happen.

I think this is a common sensation for anyone who has ever broken a bone, torn an ACL, etc. It is hard to go back to the activity that you now not only associate with joy and love and exhilaration, but also with pain and heartache. But essential if you are ever going to experience the freedom that comes with overcoming, pushing through, and learning why you loved that activity in the first place.

We imagined for a moment how last year would have been different if I hadn't broken my foot. Or how it would have been different if I'd broken it while Rand and I were still walking together. But that isn't our story.

Our story is that Rand went back to work and I broke my foot the day after we parted ways. And it had to happen that way. Even if we don't know all the reasons why.

Reasons for Walking

Day 1 of walking: Leon to Villar de Mazarife, 22.2 km

We are walking! It was so nice to leave the Parador Hotel clean, rested, and not having just walked nearly 500 kilometers! We had no trouble walking all the way to our goal of Villar de Mazarife, where I spent my first night without Rand last year.

Walking, we've determined, is our primary reason for doing the Camino this year. For Rand to complete his Camino (God willing!). For me to complete my Camino unbroken (God willing!). And for us to complete our Caminos together (one way or another!).

And of course to make new memories and lasting friendships!

These two were the only others at the albergue we stayed at tonight in Villar de Mazarife. From Switzerland, they have been married 41 years.

He walks for religious reasons.

"Are you Catholic?" I asked. "We believe in the Bible," he said, "the Old and New Testament. What denomination you are is between you and God."

I like this very much.

He gave us a pamphlet about how you know you are going to heaven. He carries them in several languages. We accepted it graciously. While it isn't how we are called to serve, it is our responsibility to honor the call of others.

His wife walks because she's already walked across Switzerland and France. Spain is the next logical step.

Even though he trained to walk with her, after the first 5 days he realized that no training prepares you for the Camino. Isn't that the truth! So he walks as much as he can, and takes the local bus to the albergue they plan in advance to stay at for the night. He also sends his backpack with the transport service so he doesn't have the extra weight to carry. She walks every step, with her backpack on.

"She is very strong," he bragged.

They spent the last 3 days resting in Leon after he caught a cold.

Catching a cold is something that has been on my mind since we arrived. Something I definitely want to avoid. It is colder here than I remember. At least it feels that way. Maybe because last year I left Ohio in the negatives and this year I left California at 85 degrees. Or maybe because we didn't walk our first several day. I'm sure that once we get moving more regularly on foot we will adjust.

El Camino by Bus

We wanted to start our walk in Leon, but Rand also wanted to take us to the 3 places (see yesterday's post) along our previous walk that meant so much to us, so we ended up taking the bus all along the nearly 500 kilometers we previously walked.

I was nervous. My only experience of riding the bus along the Camino wasn't a good one. Not the bus itself, but the reason for riding.

However, it ended up being the most amazing experience. The Camino runs parallel to the highway nearly all the way across Spain, so we were able to see so many places that left us with lasting memories. We probably annoyed the other people on the bus, because we were a constant source of chatter: 

“That’s where we ate French toast!”

“That’s where we ate at that lady’s house!”

“That’s where you went to the bathroom at the frat house!”

"That's the apartment we stayed at!"

“That’s where the food truck was!”

“There’s the chocolate place! That didn’t sell chocolate! Where they played Pink Floyd!”

“That’s the restaurant where you got in trouble for taking your boots off!”

“That’s the Chinese restaurant we ate at!”

“Remember how hot it was that day!”

“That’s where the bread truck stopped for us!”

“That’s our detour to the dam!”

“That was the really cold night, when the hospitalero turned off the heat when we went to bed!”

“Is that where we stayed when the Korean guy chomped his teeth all night?”

“Is that where…?” “Yes!”

You can see that a pilgrim's life is all about where you eat, sleep, and go to the bathroom!

We talk about the Camino all the time, read back thru last year's blogs to remember, and look at our passports to let the stamps and dates retell our story. But seeing these places--35 days of walking in an intense 2 days on the bus--was overwhelming and beautiful and reminded us of how we traveled from strangers to friends to falling in love. 

Plus we made several stops, in the larger cities, waiting for our bus transfers, and had the opportunity to go back to those places where we ate, slept, made new friends, and even more memories. Roncesvalles, Pamplona, Logrono. Santo Domingo. Burgos, Leon.

And we did our best to encourage the other pilgrims on the bus. I certainly didn't want them to feel isolated, or despondent about not being able to walk all 790 km.

Two girls we talked to had either run into trouble (pain or sickness) or were slow walkers like us, and were taking the bus all the way to O'Cebreiro (another 100+ km past Leon). A solo woman looked completely worn out, but when I tried to talk to her she said, "My English very bad." "Spanish?" I asked. "No," she shook her head. Even without a common language, I hope we left her with a sense that it is okay to take the bus, to take a rest, or to finish the Camino in her own time. These are certainly lessons we have learned.

Three Nights to Remember

Last year I immediately began walking after arriving in Spain. But this year Rand was in charge of planning our first 3 days. Then we would walk.

Rand picked out 3 very meaningful places for us to stay.

The first night we went to St. Jean Pied de Port, France, where we first met. It was so much fun reliving those first hours. I had arrived in the early evening, by taxi (remember I got car sick in the backseat!) and he came by taxi later, around 10 p.m. I stayed at the albergue across from the citadel, and he stayed at the albergue next to the river. I ate at the pizza place, and he ate at the restaurant right across the street. How amazing that our paths were so close to crossing that first night!

We went to my albergue first. It was 9 p.m. and the doors had just been locked for the night. But at least Rand got to see where I stayed the night before we met. We walked down the same street that I walked. I pointed out the fountain where I filled up my water bottles, and the store where I bought postcards and my Camino shell.

He pointed at the clock, with the statue of St. James, "You mean you saw this before you even met me?" I laughed. Because when we first met he asked me to go see this statue with him before we continued our walk. I didn't tell him that I had seen it 5 minutes earlier. I simply backtracked with him before we went on our Way.

We crossed the river and made a right, down the street where we first met, and around the corner to his albergue. Little did he know that he could see the street where we would meet from the backyard of his albergue! It too was locked for the night. But next door a woman was closing up shop, packing away fresh oysters, and she called Sabina, the woman who ran the albergue, and asked her to come.

It was cold so the woman let us wait with her. I asked if she wanted us to go and she said, "Slowly, slowly." A good reminder that you can't rush on the Camino! She told me that she sleeps in her van on days she works and had it running to keep it warm. The woman had to be 80 years old. I wonder if I will still be so adventurous!

Sabina showed up and remembered Rand right away. She was delighted to hear that we met a year before, practically in her backyard! A beautiful first evening in Spain!

Our second night Rand took us to Granon, where we fell in love with Ernesto, who ran a Donativo (an albergue that operates on donations but doesn't charge a set fee to stay). Ernesto was so excited to see us and update us on all the people we had met that night a year ago. (Oliver, the man with the tractor, now has a donkey and a girlfriend with 3 kids. They all come from France and visit regularly.) And to show us all the improvements he has made since we were last there. The top floor was completed and now has bunk beds (where we slept this time), and the bottom floor has a living/dining/kitchen room with a fireplace. "My dream," he said. It was so wonderful to see that this man, who we remember for having such a passion for the Camino and its legacy of hospitality, succeeding. A great reminder that dreams can and do come true!

On our third night Rand took us to the Parador Hotel in Leon, where we spent our last night together a year ago. As much as we loved staying with Ernesto on his bunk beds in an unheated room, we were equally happy to stay at one of the fanciest hotels in Spain. A night of pampering was just what we needed before beginning our walk! And this time we didn't have the added pressure of saying goodbye to one another in the morning. This time, we are going to Santiago together!

Encouraging Pilgrims

I was standing at the back of the plane practicing my Spanish with a man from Argentina when I saw a man take my seat to talk to Rand. They were still talking when I returned 20 minutes later. 

"What was that about?" I asked.

"He overheard us telling that young couple with the kids that we were doing the Camino," Rand said. They had wanted to know what Rand was going to do with his walking stick. Made from a tree that experienced the eruption of Mount St Helens, it's a real eye catcher. We spent the entire boarding process telling them about last year's Camino. They were on their way to hang out in Santiago and wanted to do the Camino when the kids are a little older. We assured them there were lots of families who walked, that they wouldn't regret it, and that it was safe.

The man who approached Rand on the plane was a recently retired CEO of PepsiCo, who married a woman from Spain 3 years ago. They divide their time between Dallas and Madrid and want to do the Camino, so Rand was telling him all the reasons why they should.

Sharing our experience with people who also long to walk is a tremendous joy and feels like serving. I think we all have times when we need encouraged to do the thing we long to do. And it is wonderful to think we could be the catalyst that turns a potential pilgrim into a true peregrino.

The next morning, after we'd made our way to St. Jean Pied de Port, France, by train and taxi, we saw a pilgrim staring from his map to the trail and back again. We stopped and pointed him in the right direction. We know what it is like to go the wrong way on our very first day! 

After taking the bus to Pamplona, a woman with a backpack approached us and asked how to get to St. Jean, where we had been earlier in the day. We told her about the bus schedules and what a taxi would cost.

And still later, before boarding another bus we talked to a man from New Mexico who had been in Spain for over a week. "It is so nice to speak English," he said. "It has been 8 days and my brain needs a rest!" His biggest concern was having enough money. We told him to hit the ATM at every big city, that we had run out and it wasn't fun or easy.

Later I said to Rand, "I was so worried about not fitting in because we aren't walking this stretch, but it has been so nice to be helpful for those who are where we were a year ago."

Serving other pilgrims and potential pilgrims will be a highlight of this trip for me!

Travel Day to Spain

Rand and I have been enjoying this season of the Amazing Race. They are experimenting with having half the teams made up of couples who have been dating or married for a while, and the other half who don't know one another but have been paired up as a sort of blind date.

It is a bit like our journey to Spain. Last year was like a blind date that lasted 35 days and nearly 500 kilometers. This year, however, we know one another.

How will this difference change our experience?

Just on our journey to get to Spain I already see that it is easier to complain to someone you know. When we were strangers I made a much greater effort to be my best self.

Last year I traveled from Ohio to Madrid and couldn't believe how close Spain is to the States. But this time, traveling from California to Madrid, it was nearly twice as far. We arrived exhausted and, while Rand seemed to be his usual happy self, excited to be in Spain again, I made a point of letting him know I wasn't having any fun.

Luckily the bus we were hoping to catch was full. I don't think I could have survived 5 more hours trying to sleep sitting up. So we made our way to the train station where I lay down for a 2 hour nap. Which, thankfully, was really all I needed to get an attitude adjustment.

While it wasn't the way I envisioned our return to Spain together, it was a good reminder that there will be benefits and potential pitfalls to knowing one another over being strangers. We know each other and our strengths and weaknesses,  which will benefit us greatly. But we are also comfortable enough to be our more authentic selves.

In any relationship, whether racing around the world or sitting comfortably at home, it will serve us well to always work to be our best selves.

Mixed Emotions

As our countdown to departure goes from days to hours, the reality of our return trip to Spain is beginning to set in. Along with that comes a myriad of emotions. And not all of them good.

We are so excited for so many things. Being outdoors all day. Being together all day every day without the worries of work and responsibility and people who need things from us. Simple living. Few decisions to make. Seeing beautiful sights and meeting beautiful people. Eating delicious food and drinking delicious drinks. Returning to the place where we met, where we fell in love with the land, the Camino, and one another.

The joys are easy to remember. And when you are removed from the place and the situation it is easy to idealize the experience. To see it through rose colored glasses, if you will.

But as we near the reality of it, we also remember the challenges. The difficulty of getting up every morning and walking, whether you feel like it or not. The pain of blisters and bruises, broken feet and isolation. The sadness of saying goodbye to friends you've made along the way. The indifference we felt upon reaching our final destination. And how difficult it was to return home.

I've been especially anxious about the isolation I felt after I broke my foot and had to rest. I didn't feel I could relate to the other pilgrims. And I worry that there may be some of that this time around, since we'll be starting in Leon with just 300 km to walk, instead of St. Jean with 800 km like so many others. 

Isolation has definitely not been an emotion that I have connected with the Camino in the last year, since returning to the U.S. But I don't think it is an accident that it has come up for me before leaving. I think God gives us these insights to prepare us for what is to come. Perhaps there will be moments of feeling this way. Or maybe this time my job is to look for others to serve, who are experiencing something similar, in order to be a point of connection and comfort for them. Time will tell!

Buen Camino!