Inside Out

Last night we went to see "Inside Out". There were less than a handful of children in the packed theater. This "kids movie" is definitely not just for kids.

In short, it is about a family that move from Nebraska to California and all of the emotions that go along with a move, changing jobs and schools and friends and homes.

Feelings are confusing. Especially when you experience more than one at a time. Excitement about new experiences; fear that you won't make new friends; anger when things don't go according to plan; sadness at all that you have to leave behind in order to do the new thing that still -- in the midst of your sadness and anger and fear -- excites you.

For the first time, Pixar tells us we can have all these emotions at once, that it is normal, even preferred. That joy, in fact, is not always the best emotion for our circumstances.

But there are still lots of reasons why we don't want to be honest about our feelings.

When I first moved to California, it was the holiday season and Randy had to work long hours. I didn't want to tell him that I was angry or afraid or sad that I never got to see him, because I was afraid he would think I regretted my choice to move here or that I was unwilling to accept the fact that his catering schedule fluctuates with the season. I was overjoyed to be here, but lots of other emotions too.

We all know people whose lives appear "perfect" on social media, because they are afraid if they show even a hint of sadness or anger or fear that their whole castle will crumble. But this tends to make us think they aren't in need of our prayers and so we are less likely to reach out to them.

Others are afraid to show any signs of joy when they are going through a trial, because we aren't supposed to have happy days when we are in the midst of a divorce, a loved one just died, or some other tragedy. We don't want to appear shallow, like we don't care about the heartache, and so we force ourselves to wait the "appropriate" amount of time before we start to admit there are moments of joy in every day.  

We could go on and on with examples, but the truth is, it's not healthy to live in only one emotion. To always be angry, or always be afraid, or always be sad, or even to always be happy. And it's not good to pretend to the world that we are only one way all the time.

My big takeaway from the movie is that we have to be honest about our feelings. And we have to let others be honest about their feelings. We can't serve one another without being honest.