#FacebookFail

I started the day with a text message from one of my best friends: "OMG... I just saw Facebook. Are you okay???"

I did a mental check. Wondered if I had posted something the night before when I was tired that could be misconstrued. We had gotten ourselves into a precarious situation the day before when hiking, but I was pretty sure I'd kept that bit of information to myself. Finally I opened Facebook and saw the culprit.

It wasn't something I had posted, but something someone else had posted on my wall. It was the worst of all possible things someone could have posted. And even though I didn't believe it for a second, it still took my breath away:

"Wanted to send support to you over the loss of your mother."

It had been a week since I'd talked to my parents, but there was no possible way I would find out something so devastating as this on Facebook of all places. Yes, my father would be wrecked, but he would still find it in himself to make that horrible phone call.

My gut reaction was to reply to the comment and ask if he'd meant my GRANDmother who passed away in early summer. And then to say that this is how rumors are started and you need to get your facts straight. But that tiny seed of fear had been planted. And I had to call to be sure.

Of course no one answered the home phone. And that tiny seed began to take root. But when I called my mom's cell she picked up right away. "I just called to make sure you are alive," I said. "Yep, I'm alive," she answered cheerfully. And I breathed a sigh of relief.

While my situation turned out to be a misunderstanding, there are people who have learned devastating news about loved ones in equally impersonal and public ways. I didn't confront the person who made this post, knowing that it wasn't malicious, but it did make me pause and think about how we use social media and how we can use it better.

First of all, it would be wise to let the family make the first mention of the loss. Once that person has made the information public, then feel free to offer condolences in the comment section. Second, make sure you have your facts straight, including what this person's relationship was to the deceased. Third, make use of Facebook Messenger to send a private message. If you are making a public statement just so everyone else can see it, then your motives are wrong.

And finally, if you have a way of contacting your friend/loved one outside of social media, do it. One of Randy's best friends from high school passed away this week and he's been on the phone ever since. Not checking Facebook for updates, but making actual phone calls to family and friends. Offering condolences and breaking the news in a more personal way than a text or a post.

Facebook is a wonderful service when it is used to keep in contact with family and friends, but we are responsible for using it wisely.