At some point along the way I formed a tendency toward complaining (in my head, if not out loud). Which is not at all the person I want to be. But just like I didn't become a complainer over night, I'm not going to become a super grateful person overnight either. It takes practice.
So each time I catch myself complaining (which is sometimes the first complaint, but other times not until after a long litany of self-importance), I replace those thoughts and words with a list of things I am grateful for.
A few days ago Jovi and I were walking in the park when this happened. Between hormones and the flu, competing schedules and doors not opening where we want them to, I felt myself being pulled under by negativism. But one by one I listed things I love and ways God has blessed me recently:
- I have never been so happy in all my life as I am now, living in California with Rand.
- We are getting ready to go back to Spain!
- We passed our background checks so we can now apply for healthcare with Covered California.
- John, one of the park employees, keeps dog treats handy for Jovi as we walk by.
- I love my job and they are keeping me super busy.
- We haven't had any run-ins with mountain lions.
- I hope the lady who fell on her wrist at the skating rink is okay.
- Let Randy have an awesome and productive day today.
- Bless Angie for her thoughtfulness in sending us cookies in the mail.
- Thank you God for entrusting me with "serve" as my word of the year because it feels really important.
Isn't it interesting how my gratitude evolved from focusing on myself, to focusing on others, to recognizing the work that God is doing? Like it took me a little while to warm up to what was really in my heart, to get past the "me" in order to get to Him.
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